Some Jokes

Diver Meets Guy Underwater One day, a diver was enjoying the aquatic world 20 feet below sea level. He noticed a guy at the same depth he was, with no scuba gear on whatsoever. The diver went below another 10 feet, but the guy joined him a minute later. The diver went below 15 more feet, and a minute later, the same guy joined him. This confused the diver, so he took out a waterproof pad and pencil, and wrote, "Amazing! How are you able to stay this deep down without equipment?" The guy took the pencil and pad, erased what the diver had written, and wrote, "I'm drowning, you moron!"


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Last night, an incident took place at Boat Quay. What happened was some idiot was trying to show off and declared that he would swim across the Singapore River. He jumped in and started swimming. But before he could reach the halfway mark, he started to panic and started to shout for help. Being typical Singaporeans, a crowd started to gather to watch and yet no attempt was made by anybody to save that poor chap. Suddenly there was a splash and the crowd turned to see a guy doing what seemed like a desperate attempt to reach the drowning victim. It was clear that this hero couldn't swim ! Luckily a tongkang filled with tourists was passing by and the operator saw the incident and picked both men from the water. The crowd cheered ! Back on shore, the crowd cheered again as the hero stepped off the tongkang. "Steady Lah !" and "Awright, man !" were among the many congratulations shouted. The hero looked angry and shouted "Ka ni na! Siang too wa loh chui?" (*%#@! Who pushed me into the water?")


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AN AUNTY LIVING ON THE TEN FLOOR OF A HDB FLAT WAS SEEN RUNNING DOWN THE STAIRS IN A HEAP OF HURRY, RACED TO THE LETTERBOX, OPENED IT AND THEN WENT BACK UP AGAIN WHEN FOUND NOTHING INSIDE.. A SHORT WHILE LATER, SHE'S SEEN RUNNING DOWN THE STAIRS AGAIN AND REPEAT THE OPEN LETTER BOX ROUTINE AGAIN, AGAIN, AND AGAIN.. UNTIL SHE'S SO TIRED SHE COULD RUN NO MORE. A NEIGHBOUR WHO SAW THE AUNTY'S ANTICS FROM THE BEGINNING CAN'T RESIST TO ASK HER: "MINE, YOU MUST BE EXPECTING SOMETHING IMPORTANT FROM THE POSTMAN..?" STILL PANTING, THE AUNTY REPLIED: "NOT REALLY.. I WAS USING MY SON'S COMPUTER AND IT KEEPS TELLING ME.. "YOU'VE GOT MAIL". "